Tag Archives: Loss

Life Happens – Mahjong Helps

Within a week of her becoming a widow, my mother-in-law took me to play my first Mahjong game. I was accompanying her to a standing weekly game  — she has two of those, for those following along at home — and she would not be the only widow playing that week. The women around the communal table had been playing each other together for decades and so picked and racked and tossed tiles at quite a clip. My mother-in-law let me watch a few rapid rounds before she placed me in her seat and invited me to join the game under her close supervision. Another player won the game before I had the chance to assemble a legitimate hand, but everyone there was a gracious loser, and I was no exception. 

The rules that seemed so confusing to me then seem obvious to me now. While I have yet to become a mahjong maven, in the few months I have been playing regularly, I have become proficient. Today, I could even qualify as a respectable competitor. Mahjong is having a cultural moment all across America and the ranks of players are growing quickly and rather happily for everyone involved.

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Silence, Solace, Solstice

For the past 30 years, Mount Auburn Cemetery has hosted an evening Solstice event, and it has become enough a fixture of the local holiday season in Boston that tickets for those nights sell out fairly quickly. What began as a simple candle-lighting ceremony has become an impressive light display outdoors and indoors, too, that evokes the grandeur of the celestial among the graves of the dear departed. The tickets that are the absolute last to go, if you find yourself nearby and hunting for some at the eleventh hour, are those for the so-called “Quiet Hours” at midweek, when the cemetery atmosphere is intentionally more subdued and might feel more suitable for those who are mourning, have sensory integration issues, or are trying to avoid to avoid larger crowds — for whatever reason. People do not mind wandering a cemetery at night, not with others, at least, but they do resist wandering it in silence. That phrase “quiet as the grave” can strike fear in some hearts. Not mine: I have long taken a certain solace in that sort of quiet. This year, I managed to get a ticket for one of these Quiet Hours at Mount Auburn, and last Wednesday, I wandered the graveyard in relative silence, through the dark, alone.

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